The Power of Choice Part II: A Real-Life Look at Step 1 - Show Up
In my November post, I introduced the power of choice - the one gift our Creator has given us that influences the quality of our lives. It reminds us that choices control our lives; conditions don’t. I also committed to sharing a real life example of what the 3-step process - ‘show up’, ‘step in’ +‘commit’ - to do hard thing looks like in a business context. Here’s a humbling example of what transpires when humans choose to embrace the first step to ‘show up’.
“Hard things” are defined as those necessary yet easy-to-avoid choices that cause varying degrees of discomfort within us and, consequently, outside us. Funny thing is, as seen in Psychology Today, humans busy themselves to avoid doing what causes discomfort. We numb ourselves. And we do so with something far more troublesome than than drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling + shopping. We numb ourselves with “To Do” lists - with busy.
In the case of my client company (referred to as Team Courage in the spirit of protecting their confidentiality), they did what most are too ‘busy’ to do - blocked off a couple of hours to converse with someone they’d not previously met who came recommended (that would be me) as a steward of helping others do hard things (gratitude for Tom Foldes of Bluestone Engineering).
The Beauty of Authenticity + Vulnerability
What I’m sharing next is with the utmost respect + the intention to inspire: Team Courage is comprised of six white men between the ages of 30 and 60 in the construction industry. Yes. I’m serious. Aren’t I blessed?
What’s beautiful about Team Courage is that they showed up twice in a 17-day period + dove head-first into their authenticity + vulnerability. During our first in-person meeting, they listened to me attempt to talk them out of working together. Instead of trying to convince them to hire me as a consultant, I emphatically shared my disinterest in surrounding myself with people who ‘show up’ physically but without mental or emotional presence in order to overcome insanity (doing the same thing the same way + expecting a different outcome). I also happily encouraged them to take the names and phone numbers of others in the marketing/communications industry who would be more than happy to add another client to their repertoire.
Instead of making excuses about why they couldn’t ‘show up’ physically, mentally + emotionally and taking me up on my offer to put them in contact with others, they spent time:
Reflecting on where they’d been with rebranding efforts during the last year
Realizing they had the power to choose a different course
Recalibrating priorities by choosing to embark on this 3-step process
Real-Life Example of ‘Showing Up’
Before I capture what transpired during our second in-person meeting, you’re encouraged to lean against something stable or sit down. It’s simple + powerful.
After niceties were exchanged + all twelve eyes anxiously glancing my direction, I casually posed one of my favorite questions: What’s showing up for you?
A few minutes of awkward silence (we all know that feeling) blanketed the conference room. The silence was soon followed by behaviors associated with discomfort - shifting in chairs, doodling on paper + clearing of throats.
Then, the company CEO shared the following, “I tell the guys who puts together project estimates that their job is more a psychological challenge than anything else. We win one out of ten jobs we bid. That realization has put me in an awkward place - in somewhat of a depression during the last few months. We have a lot of people on the payroll to keep busy. I’m beginning to understand that we can only control how we ‘show up’. My current cycle of working seven days a week for a minimum of eight hours leaves little time + energy for me to ‘show up’ the way I recently discovered is needed. I need to stop busying myself and start leading this company.”
Are you as surprised as all of us around the table were? After all, this was only the second time this group of individuals had taken up space together in the conference room.
At that moment, the CEO’s distressed expression gave way to softer + hopeful eyes, relieved + relaxed body language and a real smile displaying joy + enthusiasm. It was the most vulnerable comment I’ve ever heard someone make in a business setting. Coming from the person who often by default of position is expected to have everything figured out, his vulnerability was a game changer.
The others sat completely still. It’s possible they even contemplated not breathing (I know I did) in an effort to preserve that moment of fearless authenticity + vulnerability. Another question arose within me + I felt compelled to build on what the others and I had witnessed.
“What just happened?,” I inquired to the other five, as my head slowly turned toward each individual at the table.
The Impact of a Leader’s Willingness to ‘Show Up’
“He showed up,” someone said. “He was real,” someone else added. Everyone’s eyes enlarged + heads deliberately nodded. It’s an understatement to refer to it as a memorable moment.
One by one, others around the table shared what they feel needed to be said in order to effectively capture the company’s core values, mission + vision - things they had been too busy to identify previously when attempting to re-brand two divisions within the larger company. They were respectful, transparent + candid.
The CEO’s vulnerability - whether he knew it or not - was an invitation to the rest of the individuals sitting around the table to ‘show up’ authentically + ‘step in’.
There are several benefits of vulnerability. Choosing to ‘show up’ vulnerably results in:
Going against ‘societal norms’ that encourages humans to put up false fronts + vague masks of distorted personas + prevent us from forming authentic connections.
Recognizing that work environments are no longer a place one goes to perform a role; it’s a place to be human.
An ability to create an authentic, tangible connection with another human.
Taking one step on a journey toward unchartered territories of self exploration + genuine intrigue which encourages us to keep going, even when discomfort consumes us.
An unparalleled level of courage - a courage often mixed with uncertainty + subconscious feelings of doubt.
Motivation to follow our hearts when the safer route is nearby, taunting us with its easiness.
An even deeper look at the power of vulnerability + authentic connection can be seen in this HuffPost article.
The Impact on Others When a Leader is Vulnerable
Frequently reflecting on the work session with Team Courage motivates me to:
Do a self-check that ensures I’m mindful + intentional about how I ‘show up’ in every moment
Encourage other leaders to give careful consideration to how they ‘show up’ to those around them + think about the example they’re setting.
Inspiring note: Since the work session where the CEO of Team Courage demonstrated his vulnerability, he’s been holding weekly meetings with key people in the organization to, in his words, “Revisit the company’s vision and core values; establish a ten-year target and marketing target; reignite passion within the company; refresh the culture; and talk with people one.on.one about how they ‘show up’ for others.
For a continuation of this series illustrating what the formula of ‘show up’, ‘step in’ +‘commit’ looks like in a business context, make the choice to ‘show up’ by reading January’s post. It’s about the same client who is choosing to take things in stride + ‘step in’.
