The Power of Choice Part III: A Real-Life Look at Step 2 - Step In
The new year is well underway and I’m overwhelmed with curiosity. Observing humans in a variety of settings leads me to wonder how many are bold, courageous + uncomfortable enough to invite growth into their space. How many identify with the freedom associated with change? How many are willing to ‘step in’ to the emotions associated with discomfort + the opportunities created as a result?
In December’s post, a real-life example illustrated what occurred when a construction industry CEO made the choice to show up vulnerably. I assure you (because I was sitting beside him) that the discomfort he experienced in the moment of vulnerability felt counterintuitive to what we as humans typically want to feel. Not only is it instinctual + natural to want to avoid what makes us uncomfortable, society has long associated vulnerability with weakness. Thanks to the work of researcher + speaker Brené Brown, we’re learning that vulnerability is at the center of all progress.
My own experiences are teaching me that there’s life-altering value in choosing behaviors that feel counterintuitive. Thankfully, there appear to be an increasing number of humans stepping into this space. It’s showing up in day-to-day interactions in companies with less corporate + more intentional culture and is more frequently discussed as we discover that the most important qualities of top employees + leaders isn’t about technical skills.
The Benefits of Counterintuitive Choices
Consider two articles. One is by Patrick Ewers, CEO + founder Mindmaven. In it, he captures two discoveries that resulted from his willingness to embrace the counterintuitive. In the case of my client, fondly referred to as the CEO of Team Courage, he learned what manifests when a choice is made to ‘step in’ to discomfort rather than default to the typical human behavior of retracting or closing oneself off when uncomfortable. The second one is by Peter Hatherly-Greene, PhD and unveils shocking results of a Google study of hiring, firing + promotion data accumulated since the company’s incorporation in 1998. The six top characteristics of success are all soft skills. STEM expertise came in dead last.
In the first blog post of this series, ‘step in’ was defined as the ability to put ourselves in a place that may result in discomfort. The mere thought of what might happen cripples our decision-making ability. However, when we choose counterintuitive behavior and ‘step in’, we face our fears, release what’s paralyzing us + create a growth opportunity! Seems simple enough, right?
Simple in theory, yes. Simple to execute, no so much. However, with some encouragement + effort, giving this a try can put you on a path toward rewiring your brain so that it becomes easier to make the counterintuitive choice and, as a result, alter outcomes. I refer to this as “building mental muscle.” Building mental muscle one step at a time enables us to be better equipped to do hard things more nimbly over time. Eventually, the new behavior - something that’s atypical - becomes our new norm because we’ve learned how to ‘step in’ to it and we discover an exhilarating freedom. We’re no longer held back by fear or endless ‘what-if’ scenarios.
Here’s an example: about every human has taken a break from working out, myself included. Think about what happens in our attempt to join the ranks of the physically fit - we make several choices to:
‘Show up’ differently than we were previously (as we transition from unmotivated to motivated)
‘Step in’ to the discomfort of our muscles + joints reacclimating to activity (isn’t that why it makes sense to increase physical activity gradually?)
‘Commit’ to growth + change
Making Atypical Choices Creates Neural Pathways
In that very moment of choosing a different behavior, you impact your brain’s neural pathways and move one step closer to creating new patterns. In essence, the brain rewires itself in response to changing behavioral conditions - an ability known as plasticity. Plasticity is significant during early development + continues throughout life as the brain learns + forms new memories.
Back to the CEO of Team Courage. Think about the possibilities! We’ve seen how choosing to ‘show up’ + ‘step in’ led to something significant for his team + me to witness. Taking what we know from neuroscience + combining it with this real-life example, we have a fascinating + compelling reason to give the counterintuitive a try!
Are you ready?
Before you take the leap with what I hope has been inspiring + motivating, thanks to the CEO of Team Courage, I feel the need to encourage you to think about another aspect - a catch if you will - that significantly impacted his decision + ability to ‘step in’ and will more than likely impact yours. It’s something that also profoundly impacted me and took years (despite endless nudging from others in my space, including God) to embody.
Why We All Need to Slow Down
The catch is simple in theory + difficult in execution - like most worthwhile things in life.
The instant your brain is deciding whether or not to choose the default behavior of avoiding discomfort, you must be slowed down enough to recognize what you’re about to do, contemplate what kind of outcome will yield a different result + ‘step in’ to choosing the atypical behavior.
Considering that a majority of humans are addicted to being busy because it’s one of the many status symbols for our time, it may be harder than you think to live by the mantra the horse trainer I’ve referred to in previous posts lives by: Slow is smooth + smooth is fast.
However, my journey is a testament to the fact that anything is possible when we commit the time, energy + effort to something as life altering as slowing down so we can choose to ‘show up’, ‘step in’ + ‘commit’. I’m confident in you!
How can I support you in your quest?
