T-intersection Moments: Reframing Unproductive Thoughts + Behaviors
Have you ever made such a bold ask of yourself or another person that you figure there’s no way it’ll actually happen?
That’s one of the many experiences that transpire at fullCIRCLE during life-changing, off-site, guided, leadership experiences with horses.
However, investing in professional development not only enhances our skills in the workplace, but also fosters personal growth that extends beyond the workplace to positively impact our personal lives.
It’s what led me from being a tense, fearful and exhausted downhill skier to becoming a singing and laughing one.
It began with an invitation to gather family members for a ski trip. It sounds wonderful if you enjoy downhill skiing--which I do not.
Anecdote to Stuckness
Imagine traversing a peaceful, rural gravel road whereupon you arrive at a T-intersection. That T-intersection illustrates decision time: which direction will you go?
Turning left is associated with choosing default thoughts and behaviors (seeking comfort) which usually yields the same old results.
Turning right means choosing what’s counterintuitive or countercultural (stepping into discomfort) and experiencing something new.
Though most of us know that discomfort is a prerequisite for growth, there’s a significant gap between knowing something and activating it. When we add to the mix today’s speed of life and business, it’s no wonder we get stuck.
However, when we take a moment to slow down, we become keenly aware that each moment of everyday brings us to numerous T-intersections. Slowing down stretches time. And time, according to physicist Albert-László Barabási, is our most valuable non-renewable resource.
You may be wondering how do we equip ourselves for those T-intersection moments so we turn right (into personal growth) instead of left (into seeking comfort)?
One option is to invest in professional development. No one grows alone. In order to reframe unproductive thoughts and behaviors, you need someone alongside you for encouragement and accountability.
T-Intersection Moment #1
In the past, an invitation to a family ski trip was an ask that would result in me showing up:
Overthinking the pros and cons of accepting or declining the invitation
Incessantly wondering how I can ever return the generous offer of travel, lodging and meals for a family vacation
However, personal growth (a simple yet complex process) made all the difference. The value of consistently prioritizing and investing in non-technical soft skills in the business world also yielded a different result in my personal world.
This time, I was able to reframe my previously unproductive thought patterns and behaviors. The investment in personal growth brought clarity about what I value most: relationships and family. This provided a new perspective and allowed me to show up in three new ways:
Willing to step into discomfort
Slowing down and being present
Being at peace with the result
T-Intersection Moment #2
Two years prior, a ski experience elicited a most unpleasant litany of results: quickening of breath at the first sign of downhill speed; frazzled nerves about colliding with other outdoor recreators; and my tendency of resorting to the pizza slice stance (undesirable) instead of French fries (preferable) that make my hips sore.
Warming up on the bunny hill seemed wise.
Within seconds, my mind and body returned to the same frazzled place I’ve previously allowed them to go.
This time, however, I paused and took a moment. Why am I okay with doing the same thing I’ve always done? How can I reframe my thoughts, put aside my fears and grow as a skier?
It was a T-intersection moment!
I stopped overthinking and. just. went. Slowly at first; eventually smoothness ensued. A victory! After much mental and physical practice, the more proficient skiing family members invited me to pursue a more daring ski run with them.
Rather than allow anxious thoughts to run rampant, I decided to relax and trust that my well-practiced efforts would see me through whatever more challenging ski run was next.
Time stood still as I looked around at the breathtaking beauty God created. And then, at my mental T-intersection, I made a right turn into discomfort. Song and laughter combined with words of encouragement from family along the way down the slope were a gift and the new experience, a treasure.
What’s one area of your life where you’d like to make a right turn (into growth) at your T-intersection?